Wednesday, February 14, 2007
What to do?
I guess that I will have to figure out my last questions out by myself. Anyway I haven't added anything for awhile, but for some reason I couldn't sleep and had to talk somebody (even if it is only myself). I have been thinking a lot lately (prob. to much lately) . I have been doing so much thinking that I haven't got much accomplished. Although I have so much to do, I can't seem to get motivated. Once in awhile I feel that everything I had worked so hard for was for no reason. I try not to think this way, but every now and I get thoughts like "what am I doing" "why am I doing it" etc. Up until the last few days the answer was I just don't give a fuck. Within the last few days though, I have found a reason to crawl out of my cave. I really care for a certain person. Up until now I new I cared for her, but I never realized just how much. This certain person is in a relationship, that I feel is no good for her. She is pregnant, but the father doesn't want anything to do with the kid. The father (boyfriend) is a good friend of mine, but he treats her like she is a piece of dirt. This could be farther from the truth. This girl is smart, witty, loving, caring, and has a glow about her that has me awe struck every time I look at her. At first I told myself that I was just helping her out as a friend, but now I'm having a real hard time watching her go her struggles. I've been noticing her doing little things that lead me to believe that she may have similar feelings, but she isn't sure of what exactly to do. Although it is an awkward situation for all of us (considering we are all roomates) I have made a vow to help her out whether he does or not. Also like I said before, he is a friend, I find myself trying to talk to him about his problems, but I am only human. Meaning, sometimes it is really tough not to let him know of my true feelings for her. We have talked about the situation, but haven't really gotten into depth about what we were all going to do. WHAT DO I DO? If you have any logical advice, Please let me know.
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